tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25107681293633317912024-03-21T22:50:35.792+00:00Notes from a Small IsleRum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-19498876556692398012015-02-28T12:39:00.000+00:002015-03-01T22:22:29.285+00:00Notes on Leaving<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]-->One unremarkable day in November, during one of my zero-hours shifts at the hostel, I suddenly knew with absolute clarity: I'm ready to leave Rum now. <br />
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<br /></div>
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From that moment, and especially for the last two months, my time on the island has been imbued with a <span style="font-family: inherit;">profound melancholic longing, an acute awareness of the impermanence of everything - of life itself. My last visit to Harris, to Kilmory, to Bloodstone H<span style="font-family: inherit;">ill<span style="font-family: inherit;">; my last <span style="font-family: inherit;">community meeting, <span style="font-family: inherit;">my last night <span style="font-family: inherit;">as a resident on the island. I wonder if this is how <span style="font-family: inherit;">I would</span> feel <span style="font-family: inherit;">were<span style="font-family: inherit;"> I was told I<span style="font-family: inherit;">'d only</span> a certain amount of time left to live. <span style="font-family: inherit;">Sad, but intensely appreciative of each moment. </span></span></span>Rum has become so bound up in my sense of <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">se<span style="font-family: inherit;">lf</span>, that I'm afraid I won't k<span style="font-family: inherit;">now who I am any more when I'm<span style="font-family: inherit;"> no longer here.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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This is going to be a year of departures for the
island; another 7 people are due to leave this year, after me, taking the adult population down to 20.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My own leaving seems like the end of a long line of goodbyes; 22 people
have left since I arrived here in June 2011. Of course new people have come, and will come after me, but it’s difficult to maintain a sense of continuity and development in a community with such an impermanent population.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Will the new residents
be welcomed; new customers for the shop, more freight on the ferry, more rent
in the pocket of the Community Trust?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or
will they be sneered at behind their backs, as belonging to “them”, working for Scottish Natural Heritage, as
though SNH employees are not a part of the community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I won’t miss that sneering, that stupid them
& us-ness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It only comes from a few
people, but their voices are loud enough and carry far enough for it to feel
oppressive to everyone.
</div>
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<br /></div>
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There are so many things I will miss, though, not least the Rum-ness of the place. This crazy, maddening, wonderful island. I love the sense that Rum belongs to me, to all of us
here; we are the guardians of something special.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is it about this island which affects so many people so deeply?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Rum remains, regardless of who comes and goes, and<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m
grateful to have had the opportunity to live here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Rum is a place of seductive potential – there is so much
possibility, and yet everything is so much more difficult than it needs to
be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even simple things, like storing the
community-owned tractor in the community-owned boatshed, seem impossible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I took the Development Officer job, I
imagined I’d be part of a tight-knit community of like-minded people working
towards a shared goal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The reality feels
more like a disparate group of individuals each trying to do their own thing
with no real idea of where they’re going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And yet...<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone
gets along, more or less. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And the goldfish-bowl of village life is only one tiny part
of the island.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So when mainland life
stops being novel and becomes dull and routine again, maybe I’ll hop on the ferry to remind myself of a few of my favourite things:</div>
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<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil7GHJYmLXDbeawTWQoMOVhlGbH9BlpxOg8p7chmvouUTjKpeN5q976DfHeLJKGn3lK8FpAICc9c6lbJy4wBRwMq43BufQ8NAUCIBZrqmUnwKLA8TQLNZQEUJbl1ncjf1ivF2xDc7FVCKX/s1600/atlantic+corrie.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil7GHJYmLXDbeawTWQoMOVhlGbH9BlpxOg8p7chmvouUTjKpeN5q976DfHeLJKGn3lK8FpAICc9c6lbJy4wBRwMq43BufQ8NAUCIBZrqmUnwKLA8TQLNZQEUJbl1ncjf1ivF2xDc7FVCKX/s1600/atlantic+corrie.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The view into Atlantic Corrie, after working my way up Corrie Dubh and over the bealach</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcJfYaE7iVm0FalI1C5ddZhoCGd92efUuG2kbqPxw9GxbZ7wsjmwG4tY9VdwKqyPTypkP1AHfRpStXVMgyXiTEV-jXyc_QM9W4l0hSwKiZey9c6p3twQuGa5kKN7vMXrMtHnunxjgb8V2-/s1600/eigg.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcJfYaE7iVm0FalI1C5ddZhoCGd92efUuG2kbqPxw9GxbZ7wsjmwG4tY9VdwKqyPTypkP1AHfRpStXVMgyXiTEV-jXyc_QM9W4l0hSwKiZey9c6p3twQuGa5kKN7vMXrMtHnunxjgb8V2-/s1600/eigg.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The grassy top of Hallival in April sunshine, with Eigg looking impossibly small and the weird grumbling of a shearwater in its burrow beneath my feet</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieDI4BP52-zMGy3Rg5g0K8mZj8kMfp_ik6c7VkNrPP4x7ElWJWmf_Ftf6zK5ekt78zcFbqQFgUvVzl5DkYERAL-90q_unQH8YvjvgSqYfaJicbYGWg0Q6NybBB_YVa_3J5Gvk5mjXvHjd6/s1600/harris+sparkle.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieDI4BP52-zMGy3Rg5g0K8mZj8kMfp_ik6c7VkNrPP4x7ElWJWmf_Ftf6zK5ekt78zcFbqQFgUvVzl5DkYERAL-90q_unQH8YvjvgSqYfaJicbYGWg0Q6NybBB_YVa_3J5Gvk5mjXvHjd6/s1600/harris+sparkle.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The sparkle and shimmer of Harris bay as you come down from the watershed past Loch MacIvor, when the view opens up like a vision of heaven</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI64IPWDC1eFgKZYgza6oIS2pYF6nH-r-2r5CnrpJyYr88vJJ3e9pV8zRM98Zr-k4IvHIub2tWFyXF76cRCs2E4AMM_VlZccDlqZOYRrhggaIGgUp72AD1MGe2EYtAKGVh_G8MiPbJElxy/s1600/bloodstone+path.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI64IPWDC1eFgKZYgza6oIS2pYF6nH-r-2r5CnrpJyYr88vJJ3e9pV8zRM98Zr-k4IvHIub2tWFyXF76cRCs2E4AMM_VlZccDlqZOYRrhggaIGgUp72AD1MGe2EYtAKGVh_G8MiPbJElxy/s1600/bloodstone+path.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The lovely old pony path to Bloodstone Hill, beneath Orval's gloomy crags, a place where you seem to slip outside of time, into another reality</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqvwbWLHYdPMBPH9ADghqIKoAOjriuVkoDTlQ9DHcCDXkWJT262luqepuGCZG-NBxVFPgYFSWj0pTqJSfv47IlX9DqsVvncOgvJ8yykbXkHLSKUEV0xGjLszU7gbalfiUTAx55UI-xW9BK/s1600/balance+rock.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqvwbWLHYdPMBPH9ADghqIKoAOjriuVkoDTlQ9DHcCDXkWJT262luqepuGCZG-NBxVFPgYFSWj0pTqJSfv47IlX9DqsVvncOgvJ8yykbXkHLSKUEV0xGjLszU7gbalfiUTAx55UI-xW9BK/s1600/balance+rock.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All the corries and glens and random rock formations that maybe nobody has walked over in a hundred years</td></tr>
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So I'm off in search of new adventures
on the mainland. My lovely house is packed up, and as hollow and echoing as the day I moved
in, three and a half years ago. There is no question of regret - I want to go. I also want to stay. The sadness will pass: Rum will never leave me.</div>
Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-54418404127314935992014-09-12T10:56:00.001+01:002014-09-26T22:26:48.184+01:00On Creativity<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I'm experiencing Lost Time again - is it just me or is time actually speeding up? I began this blog post in early July, and somehow it's already mid-September. Leaves are turning brown and dropping from the trees, the sun is beginning to droop in the sky (my garden will be shaded for most of the day now until all the leaves are gone) - yet we're having a spell of warm, dry weather that makes it feel as though it's still summer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My Gran's funeral in June was a lovely one, as funerals go - there was a strong sense of love; both her love for us and ours for her. It was good to see the family again - second cousins who were babies the last time I saw them are now sitting thier GCSEs. Funerals are at least good for putting things in perspective again. There is still a sense of sadness; of loss, I suppose, deep inside, but it's less raw, less painful, more thoughtful. I think of her often. I think I always will. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I've been using my wonderful abundance of leisure time to write short stories, something I've dabbled with on and off for years as a way of expressing myself creatively. I write because I have something I want to show others, in the manner of a friend sitting beside you going; "Hey, this is cool, look over there." It's been interesting to watch the creative process unfold; sometimes I get stuck on a story, can't find the right voice - who is telling this story? Sometimes I'm not even sure what a story is about until it's written. They start with an image, or a scenario, or a "what-if"; sometimes they're driven by a character who pops into my head fully formed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Who are these people who come out of my imagination, and where exactly is it that they come from?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">One of my friends has suggested that I start a short story blog so that other people can read them, and so this is what I've done. If you'd like to keep following me, I suggest you turn your attention to <a href="http://writing-notwriting.blogspot.co.uk/" target="_blank">writing and not-writing</a>. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I've long been a fan of the American short story writer, Raymond Carver, whose stories are brief, sparse, and utterly memorable. His tombstone reads:</span><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNOBADPPKXuRfH-es4jtMkd7rrSt6hrmLKHasAywNrJ7tBza9kmcQPCcLQa1VK82vHt0c2TToO8h1PsjsQtiyjNADNA9IRPB5y0l-HhDX3HKj3pBSSQU9kd_nHo9CmNH-c9gqBANGdwcpV/s1600/kilmory+graveyard.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNOBADPPKXuRfH-es4jtMkd7rrSt6hrmLKHasAywNrJ7tBza9kmcQPCcLQa1VK82vHt0c2TToO8h1PsjsQtiyjNADNA9IRPB5y0l-HhDX3HKj3pBSSQU9kd_nHo9CmNH-c9gqBANGdwcpV/s1600/kilmory+graveyard.JPG" height="236" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">'LATE FRAGMENT</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And did you get what</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you wanted from this life, even so?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I did.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And what did you want?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">To call myself beloved, to feel myself</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">beloved on the earth.'</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">~ Isn't this all that any of us want?</span><br />
<br />Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-62420680100945190022014-06-11T09:02:00.000+01:002014-06-11T09:11:01.083+01:00What will survive of us is love<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My Gran has died, aged 97. For the past year or so she has shown a stubborn refusal to leave us, in spite of her failing health. When I went to see her in October I thought we both understood that I'd gone to say goodbye, but as I was leaving she said "Come back soon." In February I did go back, and was shocked by the brutality of old age and the long slow process of dying. When I saw her in October I jokingly pointed out that she only had 3 more years to go and she'd make it to a hundred and get a telegram from the Queen. She gave me a look of such despair and exhaustion. If only life had an "off" switch you could flip when you'd had enough of it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know she wasn't perfect, that she could be annoying and old-womanish, that her views were old-fashioned, and that she maintained an intense dislike of anything German (don't mention the war!). She was sure that I'd be attacked or murdered while hillwalking on my own, or that I'd fall off a mountain and die. But my adventurous nature is partly down to her; she entertained me as a child with her tales of travelling across London and up to Edinburgh in blackouts and air-raids during the war, to visit my Grandad stationed at Rossyth. Grandparents don't carry the same baggage that your frazzled parents do; they're one step removed, and so the things that would annoy you about your parents are just funny idiosyncracies in your Gran. She was small but so determined, and so generous. I always felt loved by her; as a child and as an adult. She loved me, and that's why the sadness sits in my chest now like a stone. Someone who loved me and looked out for me is gone from the world.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Another marker of time passing; the third of June was my third
anniversary of moving to Rum. On my first anniversary I celebrated
with fizzy wine down at the shop, but since then the day has passed
unremarked. Even after three years I
still have a sense of impermanence, as though I could up and leave at
any moment, as if I don't really belong here. My relationship with the
island has gone from blind infatuation to absolute disillusionment, and
has recently levelled out into an uneasy contentment. Uneasy because it
wouldn't take much to make me want to chuck it all in and go somewhere
less challenging. A thoughtless comment, a person's chronic inability
to finish a job, the general lack of collective or personal
responsibility for anything.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've been looking for reasons to stay here, and re-make myself as the resident formerly known as Development Officer, but maybe it's time to start looking at reasons to leave.</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3toEOBeGho_EIh3HIazBr9dEcWCwJ3qqcPOTFaQ5bd1YRg8yAZ5qfAywh5xzxoCbyLO2VYizKqMWSa9cB9czsohWmKbEoY-3oAq6zWPzpOA8grEbSgGMwM1SkbFYDUwvvRUBG9zU3-vaX/s1600/coire+dubh+view.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3toEOBeGho_EIh3HIazBr9dEcWCwJ3qqcPOTFaQ5bd1YRg8yAZ5qfAywh5xzxoCbyLO2VYizKqMWSa9cB9czsohWmKbEoY-3oAq6zWPzpOA8grEbSgGMwM1SkbFYDUwvvRUBG9zU3-vaX/s1600/coire+dubh+view.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span> </span>Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-89135425115871234392014-05-16T16:50:00.004+01:002014-05-16T16:50:54.530+01:00Home is where...?<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm rekindling my love affair with the philosopher and writer Alain de Botton - he doesn't know about it and I'd forgotten how much I admired him until recently. I've just read his book "<i>How to Think More About Sex</i>", which has made me laugh aloud and also think very deeply about past relationships and how I might approach things differenly in future ones. In one of his <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/alain_de_botton_a_kinder_gentler_philosophy_of_success" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">TED talk</a>s, he exhortats us to ensure that our ideas are our own, to own our ideas, and this struck a chord with me.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says; "it's bad enough not getting what you want, but it's even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and to find out at the end of the journey that it isn't in fact what you wanted all along". When I came to Rum I was full of hope and trepidation, and joy - I'd landed my dream job and couldn't quite believe it was really happening. Now the Trust has recruited a new Development Officer, and he talks about the job with such enthusiasm and positivity that I'm reminded of myself, back then.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Somewhere along the way it stopped being a dream job, and became kind of a chore. I think it's important for me to work out what happened - was it the place, the people, my own unrealistic expectations? If it was just down to the nature of the job I've been doing, then I need to find something different to do.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the meantime, I've been pulling together content for the new Rum Guidebook which hasn't felt like work at all. This is my goal for all my future jobs; things I'd do anyway for free, but for which payment is a nice bonus. It's also made me fall in love with the island all over again. I'm terrible at being idle, and spent a whole day procrastinating this week - only to realise that there's nothing actually that I needed to be doing / avoiding. This sudden desire to be "busy" is sometimes an attempt to drown out something which is desperately trying to make itself into my consciousness, and I ought to be better at sitting quietly and hearing it out. At the moment there is a low hum of anxiety which I think is generally about having no "proper" job and very little income, but which if I'm not careful will spin out to become an existential angst that I still haven't figured out what my ultimate purpose in life is.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's an immense relief to step out of everything here on the island - all the politics, the things that go wrong, the sudden crises that we just don't have the resources to deal with. Yet I'm acutely aware that by staying here I'm becoming part of the problem. I occupy a three-bedroom house because it was the only one available when I came here; it's my home. I've provided accommodation to 6 people in the nearly three years I've been here, but right now I'm enjoying having my own space and I'm reluctant to give it up. Our bunkhouse is going to be finished soon, we'll need to recruit a manager for it, I'm not interested in the job and there are not enough houses for all the people who already live here, let alone the ones we want to attract. Nothing is easy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span> Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-21111922953541057592014-03-31T21:11:00.000+01:002014-03-31T21:25:51.160+01:00On Vulnerability<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmV5oD7epCffPxhsOdcfMUmnyPDxfSGVWAsea-vu_WeLJmsyz4yKr4E8qoXEevX_hS8f20-1heNR-vXocWON-wdgrCYKR7hcgOdBwJs7OegnFDBPElL9SdS9loNExog1ClkqaI7zjZHCHa/s1600/spiral4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmV5oD7epCffPxhsOdcfMUmnyPDxfSGVWAsea-vu_WeLJmsyz4yKr4E8qoXEevX_hS8f20-1heNR-vXocWON-wdgrCYKR7hcgOdBwJs7OegnFDBPElL9SdS9loNExog1ClkqaI7zjZHCHa/s1600/spiral4.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> I discovered TED talks a while ago, and watch them from time to time when I want to feel inspired. The other day I watched this one, on <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">vulnerability</a>, and it occured to me that this has been a theme of the past month - my lesson from the universe, if you like.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Some things were said to me recently by one of our residents (in quite an advanced state of inebriation) which made me quite angry. I will do anything to avoid confrontation, so at the time I said nothing, and even managed to be mindful of my breathing to keep myself grounded. Afterwards I was furious - all the things I wished I'd said rattled around in my head like poisonous snakes. Even though I was angry - and the more I thought about it, the more angry I got - I realised that this was a powerful opportunity for learning. I tried feeling gratitude to the person for this opportunity, but that didn't work. I tried sitting with my anger, accepting it, but that didn't work either. By "work", I mean make it go away. I was uncomfortable. I'm generally a happy person, and this anger was causing me to suffer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I opened my Eckhart Tolle book, <a href="http://www.waterstones.com/waterstonesweb/products/eckhart+tolle/stillness+speaks/5372497/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><i>Stillness Speaks</i></a>, at random, and here's what he said: if you can't accept your anger as it is, then accept that you can't accept it. This at least calmed me down. I went for a long walk and the anger subsided, but it was still there, waiting to be rekindled. When I got home there was a message in my inbox from the person in question, apologising and asking for forgiveness, and the anger immediately dissolved.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">There is so much learning in this.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">First, I learned that I can't deal with anger. I can't deal with other people's anger, and I can't deal with my own. I just don't know what to do with it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Second, what was it that made the anger go away? It wasn't just the apology - because although it takes courage to apologise, it's not so hard to apologise for things you said when you were so drunk that you don't even remember saying them. What dissolved the anger was that the other person made herself vulnerable by asking me to forgive her. I know about empathy. I know that if I'd lived her life then I would behave just the way she does. I spent most of my long walk reminding myself of these things, trying hard to feel compassionate and feeling a bit miserable about failing. All it took was an admission of vulnerability, and all my anger crumbled. Why? Because I know that I'm vulnerable too. That's where the anger came from in the first place.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Third is the more difficult lesson to learn. I became angry because what she said to me made me feel vulnerable. It doesn't matter if I tell myself "she was drunk, she didn't know what she was saying". When people are drunk they say what they really think. She made me question my self. <i>Am</i> I a good person? <i>Am</i> I worthy? Am I worthy of love? Some people have an uncanny knack of seeing your weakest point and honing straight in on it. I usually avoid these people. I avoid the people who wear a spiky armour to keep others at a distance, whose energy prickles and crackles and threatens to sting if you get too close. I'm drawn to people who don't mind admitting their vulnerability, who wear their hearts on their sleves - who show courage (from the latin route <i>coer</i>, meaning heart; telling the story of who you are with your full heart). I'm drawn to these people because I want to be like them; I want to be courageous, and when I'm with them I can be. When they show me their vulnerability, I feel able to show mine, and so we connect.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If I want to grow, and become the best possible version of myself (which I do), then my homework now is to be that courageous person. To meet pricklyness with vulnerability. To accept that I'm afraid of being stung, but to go ahead and try to connect anyway. This is really scary.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span>Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-46660708656243279372014-03-10T21:56:00.001+00:002014-03-10T21:56:04.991+00:00It's all about the journey<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">February was a month of travel and discovery. I love to travel, being on trains and having nothing to do but read, or think, or just look out of the window at the scenery sweeping by. I read Ali Smith's lovely collection of essays, "<i>Artful</i>", which brought me to "<i>Sleepless Nights</i>" by Elizabeth Hardwick. She writes "<i>The first thing you have to understand when you travel is that you don't exist</i>." That sense of being outside of time, even outside my own life, is one of the things I love about travelling - and the thing that makes me uneasy these days if I travel for too long. A curious thing also happens on Rum when people leave; its as though they cease to exist. It works the other way too; the island ceases to exist for me when I'm no longer on it.</span> <br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My journey was a three act play: first stop Musselburgh ("the honest toun") to visit friends, look around Edinburgh's Portrait Gallery (filled mainly with portraits of rather pompous looking plump men), and see an installation of life-size Chinese warriors made from lit up paper lanterns. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuz13sOtXD278rAoHWqepDyZbwwpP_F4ZVbN7e4vtn8hsn1Lx3GFP6_lwHHHSMvPE_sCaZ5TTlm7DPQvLvzZV2d3Utu2WKCDRKLL-HuSynxFUzpzlhTp2pd8zgRX-iQKbB3JpS4woD6NF5/s1600/waterloo+clock.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuz13sOtXD278rAoHWqepDyZbwwpP_F4ZVbN7e4vtn8hsn1Lx3GFP6_lwHHHSMvPE_sCaZ5TTlm7DPQvLvzZV2d3Utu2WKCDRKLL-HuSynxFUzpzlhTp2pd8zgRX-iQKbB3JpS4woD6NF5/s1600/waterloo+clock.JPG" height="112" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Act two: Kent, catching up with uncles and cousins and visiting my Gran, now in a nursing home but still with us - just. She's 60 years older than me and it makes me dizzy to think about how much has changed in her lifetime. She's so thin and frail and tired, can't see or hear very well, or eat properly. She has to have thickening powder in her drink otherwise she chokes when she swallows, but complains that it tastes horrible so she can't even enjoy a cup of tea any more. It breaks my heart to see her like this; old age is brutal. The visit has got me thinking about my own death and how many more years I can feasibly expect to live. Have I already passed half-way? I can think about it in a relaxed way because I'm assuming I'll live to at least 80, in which case I have more than half my life still to go. It's probably best not to know.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> The final act: happy times in Weymouth - a lot of water down south - an anti-valentine's dinner</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCUQhzSWlstWWPOl4_hM-FAJ3tQGt9t5vZbCcw85ezaaoc-I0zUuH6bHW18lXIZsGuAEQBazjOWlqsM4c1ssrfIiBPFESkIdSrjTtLPIZXBdeWRf9pWRI53dR-mLwgtbVODk9I2y4MFE5I/s1600/lighthouse.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCUQhzSWlstWWPOl4_hM-FAJ3tQGt9t5vZbCcw85ezaaoc-I0zUuH6bHW18lXIZsGuAEQBazjOWlqsM4c1ssrfIiBPFESkIdSrjTtLPIZXBdeWRf9pWRI53dR-mLwgtbVODk9I2y4MFE5I/s1600/lighthouse.JPG" height="320" width="180" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> with two of my single friends and a storm overnight to rival the ones I'm used to on Rum. We talked about our relationships, their failure, and our general experience of incompetent men - all the competent ones were of course snapped up years ago by more sensible women than us, and are now married with children. Are they all incompetent though, or do we just have unrealistic expectations of them? We didn't manage to reach a consensus, despite the generous application of West Country cider.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">On my last day in Dorset I set out to visit Bridport, home of the Bridport Short Story Prize. My bus from Dorchester got caught in a huge long tailback caused by a fallen tree which was going to take at least two hours to clear, so I hopped off the bus and flagged down a motorist who'd turned round and was heading back the way. Would she mind giving me a lift to Dorchester? She would not mind at all. She'd been visiting her boyfriend and was on her way home to Exeter where she was about to hand in her notice at work and embark on a qualification in nursery teaching. On the way back into town we passed through Poundbury, the new town designed by Prince Charles, which has a creepy, unreal feel to it. Like a movie set, or a town evacuated following the outbreak of some horrible disease... I love the random things that happen on holiday.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Another train journey and a night in London, where it occured to me there that Rum is the exact opposite of London. In the time it took to get from the British Museum to my friend's aunt's house, I was exhausted by the noise, the constant press of people, the signs, instructions, and notices, but most of all by the noise. I strive for mindfulness in each moment, but in London there's so much noise and activity that it becomes overwhelming. My friend assures me that for all the stress and hustle there are pockets of kindness shown by one stranger to another - indeed, a nice chap offered to carry my suitcase down the stairs to the underground - but I know for certain that I couldn't live there, not for anything. It was a relief to get on the train and flee north again, to leave all that behind and return to my quiet island life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> The other day</span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> one of my Rum friends pressed me for the reason why I'm still here. I could have gone for a number of other jobs by now, but have chosen not to. She said I'm not the kind of person who does things for no reason, and asked what it is that's keeping me here. I told her I feel as though I'm waiting for one final thing to fall into place and then I'll know what I'm doing, where I'm going. I don't know what that one thing is, but I sense that it's worth waiting for. I'm also feeling really happy. I like not working and being able to arrange my time exactly as I please. It's spring; the birds are full of song, there are buds on trees and the floor of the wood is turning green as the bluebells push up out of the earth. It's a time for planting seeds and setting down roots, not for moving on. Not yet.</span><br />
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Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-69537515818069097212014-02-04T09:42:00.002+00:002014-02-04T09:42:07.344+00:00What to D.O. next?<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHQ7b8nxu8H_Dk9m_-NULF-FFN1ygBZ9R12Quj7EKwyQnok1bTYdqXJkoJWddM_LOTZQwqzKOvqpRzAHF1dV8uhKT1evg0yXfEhn7PfhnztnUHXmIdXqMs4OEMS8feQJT0EG0sosWwxwp9/s1600/bho+begins.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHQ7b8nxu8H_Dk9m_-NULF-FFN1ygBZ9R12Quj7EKwyQnok1bTYdqXJkoJWddM_LOTZQwqzKOvqpRzAHF1dV8uhKT1evg0yXfEhn7PfhnztnUHXmIdXqMs4OEMS8feQJT0EG0sosWwxwp9/s1600/bho+begins.JPG" height="111" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The Bunkhouse begins</span></b></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A month into the new year, but only a few days since I finally finished my job. January was supposed to be about handing over the bunkhouse project (done) and recruiting the new me (not done) but as often happens on Rum, it didn't quite go to plan!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">None of the very fine candidates who applied for the job were quite what we were looking for so we've readvertised and I've stepped out of the game because I'm going off on holiday. It's been over a year since I spent more than 10 days away from the island, so the next two and a half weeks will be a good opportunity to recharge and reassess where I am.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">How am I feeling about being jobless? Surprisingly upbeat! I have a lot to think about, and so many possibilities. I'm going to take this time to revisit my values and principles, work out what I'm good at and what I actually enjoy doing - and then find something to do that meets all my needs, not just the need to pay my rent. Being the Development Officer in such a small and isolated community was challenging and rewarding, but very intense, and I'm not sure that I want to jump straight into another similar role just yet.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I've asked my housemate to move out, which has caused a rash of gossiping; one of the nice things about Rum is that although people will talk about you freely behind your back, they'll rarely tell you what they think to your face. Actually, that's also one of the not-so-nice things about Rum. I'm tired of sharing my space and I want to put myself first for a while, for a change: so there. I'm putting up a metaphysical "Do not disturb" sign on my door. I don't even feel that bad about doing it - after all, I'm not the only one in the village with spare rooms.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rum in perspective</span></b></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So far I'm not feeling as purpose-less as I feared I would. In fact, quite the opposite. Rum has become such a core part of my identity that I'm not sure who I'd be if I left. Just another ordinary Joe living on the mainland. Does island life itself meet one of my needs - the need to feel special, to stand out in some small and not too noticeable way? Another of the things I need to figure out... </span><br />
<br />Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-13477010457114588112014-01-12T15:02:00.000+00:002014-01-12T15:02:50.118+00:00New Year New You<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I'm the kind of person who likes plans, routines, and stability - so not knowing where I'm going or what I'm doing is a bit scary. It's also strangely exhilarating! I'm thoroughly enjoying getting up whenever I wake up in the morning and pleasing myself all day long. Having oodles of free time allows me to potter about doing random acts of community kindness - clearing the huge dump of seaweed left by the recent super-high tides on the shore road, sawing up a fallen tree on the nature trail and turning it into firewood for a neighbour. I'm positively glowing with goodness.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQrOdWAjeNiMUur2tH38ZAlb1CZXjaxYaeO69B0amHG0UT0Wcr86IBgbc7OqcQ_bOO9QvRg3uwUYp0awCsODtv6HVMRsN-dcU2mXVr1673zEtMicrVHNfJLLAZE-4fuEIgdi3UWghVI7MC/s1600/the+machines2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQrOdWAjeNiMUur2tH38ZAlb1CZXjaxYaeO69B0amHG0UT0Wcr86IBgbc7OqcQ_bOO9QvRg3uwUYp0awCsODtv6HVMRsN-dcU2mXVr1673zEtMicrVHNfJLLAZE-4fuEIgdi3UWghVI7MC/s1600/the+machines2.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a>I'm still involved with the Community Trust to a vey limited extent until the end of this month - handing over the bunkhouse project to our very competent new Project Manager, and helping to recruit the new Development Officer. If you're interested, details of the job are on the Isle of Rum <a href="http://www.isleofrum.com/news.php" target="_blank">website</a>! I'm finding it helpful to have a little bit of structure to my weeks, but have to be very careful not to get drawn into doing other things - otherwise what was the point in resigning? A shiver of excitement ran through the village this week when The Machines arrived ready to clear the site for the bunkhouse. It is beginning! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I've gone back to my yoga / meditation roots, partly to keep myself limber and also to stop myself from falling into a panic and applying for every available job that I see. I'm going to take some time to think about what I want to do next, and where I want to do it. I never did decide what I wanted to do when I grew up, but I've done some pretty cool stuff all the same. I'm feeling optimistic about this year, and the changes it will bring. Watch this space.</span><br />
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<br />Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-42360732897581349892013-11-08T19:28:00.002+00:002013-11-08T19:28:35.675+00:00Doing what you love and loving what you do<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">I found this quote from Steve Jobs (founder of
Apple) in one of the <a href="http://www.senscot.net/bulletins.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Senscot</a> bulletins which pop into my inbox every week; </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Your work
is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly
satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great
work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't
settle.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-themecolor: text1;">I do love what I do, I believe I’ve done great work
over the past two years, and yet what I do seems to have filled an ever
increasing part of my life, until there’s almost no space left for doing anything
else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had an enlightening conversation this week with someone doing a similar job on Fetlar (Shetland),
experiencing similar challenges and feeling the same strain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I described my struggle to separate work
and not-work, he asked if I'm single.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I said yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Ahhh,” he said, as
though that explained everything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Perhaps it does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone I know here is in some way connected to my work.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">I think perhaps I need to distil the parts of the
job I enjoy – working together with people to achieve social change &
community empowerment – and ditch the parts I find frustrating or exhausting:
feeling as though I’m trying to drive the bus, navigate, and carry out
essential maintenance all at the same time, while each passenger is calling out
different instructions, requesting a toilet stop, or asking why we’re not there
already. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">We’ve had confirmation that Highlands & Islands
Enterprise is committed to securing funding to continue the LDO project.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s been massively successful over the past
3 years, with at least 75 projects led or supported by LDOs across Highland
attracting more than £800,000 into local economies and making funding bids
totalling over £2million. It’s been really helpful to be part of a
network of people doing the same thing, encountering the same challenges, and
to be supported by Highlands & Islands Enterprise with easy access to match
funding for projects that fall within our “Growth Plan”. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">However, I’ve decided not to continue my contract when it
ends on 31<sup>st</sup> December.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It feels good to have made the decision, so I know it's the right one. </span>I’ll
probably sleep for a week, and then I’m interested to see what it’s like to
just be another person who lives here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Meanwhile, I’m trying to decide what I want (what I really, really want)
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<![endif]--><br />Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-73981417002399802482013-10-14T22:06:00.000+01:002013-10-14T22:06:29.386+01:00What's so bad about being single?<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I've returned from a week away rested, relaxed, and full of zen. A whole ten days of not talking about Rum, not thinking about it, not having it occupy every waking hour. Bliss! Within 5 hours of setting foot back on the island (while still on holiday, it being a Sunday), someone stopped me on my bike and said; "This is about work and I know it's the weekend, but since you're here..." Urgh! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Later on my Rum Mentor scolded me for not responding with, "I don't mean to be rude, but..." The problem is, I <i>don't</i> want to be rude, and cutting someone off like that feels disrespectful. However, I have promised myself that I will practice asserting boundaries and asking people to respect my non-work time. "I feel a bit rude saying this, but..."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">One of my mainland treats is buying a copy of the Guardian on Saturday - easily pleased, I know. It has so many sections that it takes me most of the week to work my way through it. Last week there was a good article about the dispiriting lack of strong, single female characters in literature. Apparently it's not possible to be happy unless you're married / engaged / in a stable long-term relationship. Feisty females beware: should you attempt to live a fulfilling single life, you'll most likely end up under a train / bitter & twisted / otherwise betrayed. Where are all the contented singletons? Not only in books, but in film as well. I recently watched Eat Pray Love, in which Julia Roberts walks away from a series of failed relationships and embarks on a promising journey of self-discovery. Right up to the point at the end when she falls into yet another relationship, abandoning everything she's learned in the preceeding 2 hours about being happy and whole as a single person. Boring.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF9hyphenhyphen1UJgP1Ru8-b-9TiQx1QykABAp5-kMgcrqbpqtHGD9rf-WZvG9BfPKA0YoEP0r7vqrjPbyMpIlcIeiqQkMqstA8k6K6ILbiLvhk9_5qDa2i8GUdsQbhEcMxkvdUDs4XBSIbaiVID9t/s1600/shadowme.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF9hyphenhyphen1UJgP1Ru8-b-9TiQx1QykABAp5-kMgcrqbpqtHGD9rf-WZvG9BfPKA0YoEP0r7vqrjPbyMpIlcIeiqQkMqstA8k6K6ILbiLvhk9_5qDa2i8GUdsQbhEcMxkvdUDs4XBSIbaiVID9t/s320/shadowme.JPG" width="242" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What if there isn't a Mr (or Mrs) Right, and the whole concept turns out just to be something invented because it's a good plot line? Am I a freak for preferring the single life to making a mass of compromises in order to "be" with someone? What does that even mean? Do we need another person there constantly to validate ourselves? So many of my friends seem unhappy in their relationships, or are running around looking for someone to be with, feeling as though they're only half a person until they meet "the one". I'm not lonely because I'm not in a relationship, I have plenty of fulfilling relationships; I get lonely because everyone I know is one half of a couple, off doing couple-y things and not hanging out with me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Listen up writers and film-makers: can't I be happy by myself? What's so bad about being single?</span>Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-55617127061121382522013-09-17T22:41:00.004+01:002013-09-17T22:41:47.032+01:00There's No Place Like Home<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: left; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2AVwQFfNG0x1M3REQLZg66-ei80AhKAQgI0ReRTTU55UU4wQQDsQV94UoD5W6uBjrf4Jo2jxLOwZxoHMdiQQrJXhttZJZ99mrq8RiJr9md3CChxTqCZMs3iyu_goxHkVo89j4tSSeXPXI/s1600/affric.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2AVwQFfNG0x1M3REQLZg66-ei80AhKAQgI0ReRTTU55UU4wQQDsQV94UoD5W6uBjrf4Jo2jxLOwZxoHMdiQQrJXhttZJZ99mrq8RiJr9md3CChxTqCZMs3iyu_goxHkVo89j4tSSeXPXI/s200/affric.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Glen Affric</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwqD15LdRDqkBAzayYBoOJ62esNQflpWSognensRuYRuNJHQg0ArIhIDZwSEoBpP9leiPE_AAPN6BM7hzqhLgxhaCnwoUm7j9S98v5GQtGNlCK80xGy5fBR35CJl-HpeyQd-pMOU2_8lHE/s1600/Calgary+Bay4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwqD15LdRDqkBAzayYBoOJ62esNQflpWSognensRuYRuNJHQg0ArIhIDZwSEoBpP9leiPE_AAPN6BM7hzqhLgxhaCnwoUm7j9S98v5GQtGNlCK80xGy5fBR35CJl-HpeyQd-pMOU2_8lHE/s200/Calgary+Bay4.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Calgary Bay, Mull</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I've been wondering what it is about a place that attracts me, or makes me feel I could be at home there. One of my favourite walks on Rum is the old pony path to Bloodstone Hill - the track passes under the Mordor cliffs of Orval and winds around the top of Glen Guirdil and up to Bloodstone, where Canna is laid out like a toy island and the Outer Hebridies are strung out in an ever decreasing series of bumps on the horizon. There's one section of the path I particularly love for no reason I can pinpoint; it slopes down to a river crossing below a steep waterfall, then wends up and around a bend. There's just something lovely about it, something familiar and comforting.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_AB0ASH23qBMC-zjtYReUkGen7JF1o5fL1C6l7PGai-iBmsSeRSk-FE7atH-rzZOwaGqHktM1E3uM9BMnPz89zvGb9w1idXPsZOdMGiMHYgPpbP_9-ROiB3ZhZyx7i-Bxs95knTMM3oYg/s1600/harris+from+west.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_AB0ASH23qBMC-zjtYReUkGen7JF1o5fL1C6l7PGai-iBmsSeRSk-FE7atH-rzZOwaGqHktM1E3uM9BMnPz89zvGb9w1idXPsZOdMGiMHYgPpbP_9-ROiB3ZhZyx7i-Bxs95knTMM3oYg/s200/harris+from+west.JPG" width="200" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Harris Bay, Rum</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I recently had a friend visiting who talked about past life memories unconsciously drawing us back to places we've inhabited before, either because we felt safe there or because something happened that we need to revisit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> I'm not sure I have much time for past-life theories, but wonder if there's something within the sub-conscious or unconscious mind that recognises something in the lie of the land, the curve of a bay or a river bend.</span><br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhps_FYOTjFV1b6d0j6k_2WQo_B6466M_ilteX9Aw1VO8fobxAEdsXthhyphenhyphenAdGX_nrlL45XoXKroHWKkNgmjpQ9ru6S2lkik1oMmiS0dEJ8D22hYeEI7twECZ0LUGAredeQ8xBrj30X80sLb/s1600/sango+nowaves2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhps_FYOTjFV1b6d0j6k_2WQo_B6466M_ilteX9Aw1VO8fobxAEdsXthhyphenhyphenAdGX_nrlL45XoXKroHWKkNgmjpQ9ru6S2lkik1oMmiS0dEJ8D22hYeEI7twECZ0LUGAredeQ8xBrj30X80sLb/s200/sango+nowaves2.JPG" width="200" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Sango Sands, Durness</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Driving north on the A9 where the road begins to descend toward Inverness, with a view of the bridge and the Black Isle beyond, the moray firth stretching out below, always felt like coming home. It was one of the reasons I eventually decided to stop moving away from Inverness and to just setlle there (before I moved away again, further west). There are other places that feel like home, though; some I only passed through once and noticed the gravity-tug of wanting to stay. Some I return to again and again - yet I don't live in any of them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Part of me thinks that if I could just find the perfect place, the place I can call Home, then I'll be happy.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzDnIoWwL-78x0cggtkEGMW819vGDZEIvoLFwE_nyZyWBoHQ-zUyzPdfDNHBZrwQQjWeXwrDi5oyiap0t_CulYTariq4bA6HSuMMT6CRX6GRsNQS7Va8Tq-NuIOLAlfVl7oOj1NcGEwDAW/s1600/Ullapool.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzDnIoWwL-78x0cggtkEGMW819vGDZEIvoLFwE_nyZyWBoHQ-zUyzPdfDNHBZrwQQjWeXwrDi5oyiap0t_CulYTariq4bA6HSuMMT6CRX6GRsNQS7Va8Tq-NuIOLAlfVl7oOj1NcGEwDAW/s200/Ullapool.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ullapool</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5fgkxH4nj9Fn_kHlMsCUMBkHozaAFR3usEMa_Qd6eOF-VbIjgOq0MTxfsDNCPIk0xSwVPUsZaogG05-HuX0WVSwMdhUPEYMPd2znW-clz49su-FTMBxww9Ib8-Em93kA7W-lDZ-h3z9Hd/s1600/suilven+from+cul+mor.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5fgkxH4nj9Fn_kHlMsCUMBkHozaAFR3usEMa_Qd6eOF-VbIjgOq0MTxfsDNCPIk0xSwVPUsZaogG05-HuX0WVSwMdhUPEYMPd2znW-clz49su-FTMBxww9Ib8-Em93kA7W-lDZ-h3z9Hd/s200/suilven+from+cul+mor.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Anywhere with a view of Suilven</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0ZyJC11Gxq3qTCKY7-bPTu9e6F5zHMJviTfK6nnYzkAjGry5yuqbU_h6_oL_pEjZRKXVRRymfQJuaIZUYaJ0ANp50JtRLE0chazkTWo4yJoPOgpWlBJLQcpPdE3uQrMqFvSOUZTTo8ySE/s1600/dream+house.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="131" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0ZyJC11Gxq3qTCKY7-bPTu9e6F5zHMJviTfK6nnYzkAjGry5yuqbU_h6_oL_pEjZRKXVRRymfQJuaIZUYaJ0ANp50JtRLE0chazkTWo4yJoPOgpWlBJLQcpPdE3uQrMqFvSOUZTTo8ySE/s200/dream+house.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Torridon</td></tr>
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Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-88089675800030637932013-09-02T13:07:00.000+01:002013-09-02T13:07:28.214+01:00Doing and not-doing<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I have not been blogging. I have not been meditating, practicing yoga, or running very much at all. Apart from a short spate of munro-bagging on my holidays in July, I have not been climbing mountains. I have not been doing any of the things that would have recharged and revitalised me. I'm left wondering why it is that when I feel a bit down, a bit hopeless, I can't even muster the energy to do the things I know I enjoy. I don't do them, and then I give myself a hard time for not doing them, which is hardly helpful. It seems I'm not alone in this - I have been given a gentle telling-off by a good friend who also has a tendency to behave this way. I think of myself as a thoughtful, self-aware person, and yet it took someone else to point out that I've been behaving in a thoroughly self-destructive way without even realising it. </span><br />
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
At some point I have become consumed by my job. The lines between what's work and what's just being part of a small community have become so blurred over the past two years that I have completely lost sight of who I am, separate from what I do for a living. Life is too short for me to want to spend the majority of my waking hours toiling away at "just a job", but equally I don't want to feel the way I do right now, which is that I'm never not working. </div>
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<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
Things will change, because they have to and because now I understand what's been happening. I need to re-establish some boundaries, go back to doing things for myself, take as many Time Outs as I feel I need.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
I found this, by Thomas Merton, who was a Trappist Monk in America; it seems like good advice to me, and to my fellow Development Officers:<div>
"Do not depend on the hope of results . . .you may have to face the fact that your work will appear worthless - achieve no result at all - or perhaps results opposite to what you expect. As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself. . . .you gradually struggle less and less for an idea - and more and more for specific people.<u>.</u>. In the end, it is the reality of personal relationship that will sustain you".<br />
<br />
From now until the end of the year I will endeavour to write more regularly. Not about work, but about all the other big and small things that make up my life. And mostly the things that make me happy or appreciative. They are so easily overlooked.</div>
</div>
Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-590366668303032892013-04-01T20:27:00.000+01:002013-04-01T20:33:38.411+01:00Always Something New to Discover<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I like to read Gerry Hassan’s blog from time to time & a
paragraph in this one about <a href="http://www.gerryhassan.com/uncategorized/growing-up-with-the-idea-of-independence/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Scottish independence</a> struck me as
particularly relevant to our wee island, which is so often just a picture of the wider world in miniature: “More potent than the ‘powers’
perspective is the psychological case for self-government, within the context
of a Scottish nation where people in their own lives have belief in themselves
to stop blaming others (whether the UK Government, Tories or the English), and
decide to grow up and run things better. This is about aiding and nurturing a
wider sense of change which goes beyond the narrow political to the cultural.
The psychological argument is about an independence of the mind.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">One of the things I find most frustrating in my job is the
amount of talk in the village about “something” that should be done by
“someone”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why don’t you, the
complainer, take responsibility and do it yourself?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why are you still waiting for it to be
someone else’s problem?</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoMqiV8agS2I6BJBJJWHYRxExOkRcNFtzkWx4YoTmuDFUlYcEr4Lqt-EnrN_k4ZnMIY9x4EOs535Wf9QjnDv_MoA_J1VO3GRVzNOixVXSF75FF83o6_vdiAQbZMvwKJZpKO2mejAqDMIws/s1600/minishal.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoMqiV8agS2I6BJBJJWHYRxExOkRcNFtzkWx4YoTmuDFUlYcEr4Lqt-EnrN_k4ZnMIY9x4EOs535Wf9QjnDv_MoA_J1VO3GRVzNOixVXSF75FF83o6_vdiAQbZMvwKJZpKO2mejAqDMIws/s320/minishal.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Minishal Lochan</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Even so, I think the signs of a maturing community are here;
we are gradually starting to believe in ourselves, growing up and running
things better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve redesigned our
website into something we’re really proud of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Individuals are taking advantage of business opportunities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The bar in the Castle has closed and <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>someone suggested we apply for an events
license for the village hall and have a bar there, with entertainment, at least
once a month through the season.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
first night, Easter Saturday, went down well with locals and visitors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t go, because I was tired from a day
of discovering yet more parts of the island I hadn’t known were there...</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkaDRTnZTClf0Vh1JXz-uVewto0UGCnYiDOGPEc_y4YzBHs00pg-HTI3EaiDhMtD5dB7jJYxSi7i2syYYCMlCErPqN_6pYpQIpOEwgw8jRJyI2HYkjhIUJO2VQ6FNYDDxlkM-VnBFggNI3/s1600/P3300030.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkaDRTnZTClf0Vh1JXz-uVewto0UGCnYiDOGPEc_y4YzBHs00pg-HTI3EaiDhMtD5dB7jJYxSi7i2syYYCMlCErPqN_6pYpQIpOEwgw8jRJyI2HYkjhIUJO2VQ6FNYDDxlkM-VnBFggNI3/s320/P3300030.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Shellesder Caves</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Our on-island website design team coined a tagline for Rum
which is incredibly apt; “...always something new to discover”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Almost two years on I still don’t feel that I’m
done exploring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We love the line so much
that we’re using it all over the place, on signs, adverts, marketing leaflets, and
even turning it into a little ditty that we hum to ourselves while walking
(that may be just me).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Part of the
reason it’s taking me so long to get to all parts of the island is that now I’ve
done the easy ones, the rest involve a good deal more effort – venturing into
places without paths, tripping over heather and falling down holes concealed by
wind-blown grass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet it’s incredibly rewarding
to discover a hidden little lochan, pass below curious rock formations, or walk
into caves with a Mediterranean feel to them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The further you venture from the village, the more it feels as though
yours are the first human eyes to see these fabulous things, the first feet to
cross rocks scarred by glaciers.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitZ7KhSuOZwFh1fmNfSgyZ1xUUFcSQmUZ4yv0XsPATA4ttP9fTVHSRISpWLCVwzJfClJ0mI-JYP3a-N6CBDdCBhceenxTtCo-nW8IpQh1DVsjkfmMS4ny593DVeDKGOBw1Af7_zafIdRR1/s1600/atlantic+corrie.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitZ7KhSuOZwFh1fmNfSgyZ1xUUFcSQmUZ4yv0XsPATA4ttP9fTVHSRISpWLCVwzJfClJ0mI-JYP3a-N6CBDdCBhceenxTtCo-nW8IpQh1DVsjkfmMS4ny593DVeDKGOBw1Af7_zafIdRR1/s320/atlantic+corrie.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Atlantic Coire</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Now that we’ve made it through the winter without killing
each other (sometimes living here is like living with an extended family over a
Christmas that drags on for months after the cake’s been eaten and the
decorations taken down), I’m going to try applying our slogan to the people I
know so well, yet know so little about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s easy to forget that everyone had a life before Rum, just as I
forget that my parents had a whole life of their own before I came along.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This month I want to get to know my
neighbours better, understand where they’re coming from, and maybe live a
richer life as a result.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Ps: I saw our heart-attack friend in hospital four days after the event. He said he felt better than ever, as though he'd been through a good service and MOT. We had a good conversation about coming to terms with your own mortality and how maybe it's easier in some way to be the one doing the dying than to be the ones watching. It made me think about how much there is that I don't know, about so many things. It was good to see him looking so well.</span></div>
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Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-88447707900306016432013-03-20T17:46:00.003+00:002013-03-20T17:46:57.062+00:00It Casts a Grim Shadow<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">I
haven’t written anything for a while because I’ve been feeling a bit stressed
and despondent; although I can be brutally honest here up to a point, I still
feel I have to be careful what I say given that what I say is out in the public
domain. I was also hoping to bring news about bunkhouse funding; perhaps next month.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Today
has been one of those days that stops you in your tracks and makes you
re-evaluate what’s important and what’s not really worth stressing over.
One of the contractors working on the new temporary hostel accommodation
collapsed unconscious and fell into a hole he’d been digging; as the second
person on the scene I felt totally helpless – no clue what to do. He
looked in a bad way but his colleague and the Castle chef had him in the
recovery position, so I went for help. From there, everybody knew exactly
what to do – the right people appeared on the scene, the air rescue helicopter
was summoned and then ... an agonising wait. The minutes stretched out
excruciatingly into half an hour and still no tuk tuk tuk of approaching rotor
blades. The man on the ground came round and we all stood around trying
not to crowd him, but unwilling to leave until we knew what was
happening. The helicopter came, paramedics took over in their maddeningly
calm, unhurried way, everybody moved inside out of the cold; more
waiting. The helicopter left with our friend inside, we drank sweet tea
and talked over and over about what happened. Everybody did everything
right; the systems in place for just this sort of thing swung into action, yet
as the helicopter shrank steadily away from us, I think we all felt a bit
helpless.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">We
don’t know if he’s going to be ok.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Nothing is quite the same. The things that seemed so important
when I woke up this morning don’t seem as pressing any more. These
contractors have been coming to the island off and on for a long time, they’ve
become our friends. It’s a terrible thing to see one of them so close to
death, to be so closely reminded that it will come to all of us at some point –
even to me. Everybody did everything right, hopefully a life was saved
today. We are all shaken by it. There’s nothing like a life or
death situation for giving back perspective, but I’m glad it doesn’t happen
very often.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieX3yuKKyHZGrFH2GoiUDSWUuZO3dQduBgHBJ5J3ytNpWTYxKcB_nuCouTMaZCntHNsVoqYL2F5HVGmu0OX6LhWgFL4DRjR29jOoJcithz-ngGCMdd9z1XmBh5kRxc3ezLOLuMySmGEVa4/s1600/autumn+kilmory+beach.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieX3yuKKyHZGrFH2GoiUDSWUuZO3dQduBgHBJ5J3ytNpWTYxKcB_nuCouTMaZCntHNsVoqYL2F5HVGmu0OX6LhWgFL4DRjR29jOoJcithz-ngGCMdd9z1XmBh5kRxc3ezLOLuMySmGEVa4/s320/autumn+kilmory+beach.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-11382426877577667822013-02-11T20:46:00.002+00:002013-02-11T20:46:31.064+00:00People Need Wild Places<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m in a much better head space now than I was this time
last year, though it’s difficult to pin down exactly why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A different mix of people on the island, more
social events, better weather, feeling as though I’ve actually achieved
something; maybe a combination of these. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As the Independence Debate steps up a gear
with the setting of The Question, I’m hopeful that a new popular democratic
movement will emerge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m all in favour
of devolved power – right down to community level, but with the caveat that
with increased power comes increased responsibility and maybe not everyone is
quite ready for that yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m watching
these guys closely – <a href="http://www.sosayscotland.org/story" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">So Say Scotland</a> is a project working to bring people
closer to the decision making process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It happened in Iceland after The Crash, why not here?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">On a more mundane note, we’re still trying to figure out how
to pay for the repairs to the roads (every day the potholes get a little bit
bigger, cycling from the pier to the village takes longer & becomes more
jarring).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are the state of the nation
in miniature.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet when I walk past our
weathered-in camping cabins, I have a little smile to myself, remembering that
they weren’t here this time last year and it was me that made them happen (with
a little help from my friends); this is what community ownership is about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Planning permission has been granted for our
new bunkhouse and I’ve submitted our funding application to Big Lottery - I
feel suddenly lighter, brighter, less worried.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’ve had time to put together some adverts for our Marketing Rum
campaign which I’ve thoroughly enjoyed – watch out for us in the Visit Scotland
guide and the Highlands & Islands Travellers Guide.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love sharing the best bits of our beautiful
island with others.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieMpu17x3pkCZS_gyEWRuWpTxIVOXeBySc6DKbB_ERYprUUAKCS73JyAqtqmkr5bVn0jufXclBbZeUF1jktJQ5u-hZVA6SujJ5SfAzMjGuPEoziBbHEtZ5xcahiz1eYxzU0loS8XhUCAZC/s1600/kilmory.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieMpu17x3pkCZS_gyEWRuWpTxIVOXeBySc6DKbB_ERYprUUAKCS73JyAqtqmkr5bVn0jufXclBbZeUF1jktJQ5u-hZVA6SujJ5SfAzMjGuPEoziBbHEtZ5xcahiz1eYxzU0loS8XhUCAZC/s320/kilmory.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> This is from Barbara Kingsolver, in her book ‘Small Wonder’
– “People need wild places. Whether or not we think we do, we do. We need to be
able to taste grace and know once again that we desire it. We need to
experience a landscape that is timeless, whose agenda moves at the pace of
speciation and glaciers. To be surrounded by a singing, mating, howling
commotion of other species, all of which love their lives as much as we do
ours, and none of which could possibly care less about our economic status or
our running day calendar. Wildness puts us in our place. It reminds us that our
plans are small and somewhat absurd. It reminds us why, in those cases in which
our plans might influence many future generations, we ought to choose
carefully. Looking out on a clean plank of planet earth, we can get shaken
right down to the bone by the bronze-eyed possibility of lives that are not our
own."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This is what makes Rum so special.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-HiBJ29F58g34Dv6hY69xaDJzIAu_CgqaIKT7ocrC7Fa5fZq7qY5qB3UUOnPna7E6SAXhFJWiI25oW67QPWjjdfZ5raXLJWHkIXPsVIlhNX4eoDd4YWVb3S8UwK6C5TtI6XD5BcI8CayG/s1600/camus+pliasgaig.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-HiBJ29F58g34Dv6hY69xaDJzIAu_CgqaIKT7ocrC7Fa5fZq7qY5qB3UUOnPna7E6SAXhFJWiI25oW67QPWjjdfZ5raXLJWHkIXPsVIlhNX4eoDd4YWVb3S8UwK6C5TtI6XD5BcI8CayG/s320/camus+pliasgaig.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I have a new housemate – my fourth in 18 months – an
ecologist doing a phd on our thriving rat population.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s become known as the Rat Man,
obviously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s here for two years and
we’re getting along just fine, so hopefully that’s one thing that won’t change
for a few months, even if everything else does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s interesting seeing the island through his eyes – he has the same
hope and enthusiasm I had when I first arrived: so many possibilities!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Change continues to be as relentless as the ebb
and flow of the tides; our Castle Manager and his wife & child have left
for a new job in York, and another of my friends is planning to depart in the
spring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think we need a moratorium on
people leaving; it’s too hard saying goodbye every few months to someone I’ve
come to know & like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The future of
the <a href="http://www.isleofrum.com/isleofrumheritag.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Castle</a> itself is up for debate through the spring, with a discussion of
positive options involving various stakeholders, including the Rum
community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like it or not, it’s central
to the island’s identity – a giant folly, a rich man’s extravagance, but in a
sense as much ours now as the hills, the rivers and the wildlife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How would we feel, actually, if it was bought
by a private investor who had the money to restore it but shut us out of the
building, the woods and the grounds?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
don’t necessarily want it, but do we want someone else to have it?</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUBe1Kg1DkIZDEy4hnAqjGayzHMrGpbRTuHsaDWiMf6ouf_nh9Fpv6x6U0-pA7Iz4h-F3gR0mfqjmWvvsO9w572brZEgBnp3h3kZpy8hvlovrn5diQkn2MSQBaqCCx1bizlaetKXofN64w/s1600/harris.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUBe1Kg1DkIZDEy4hnAqjGayzHMrGpbRTuHsaDWiMf6ouf_nh9Fpv6x6U0-pA7Iz4h-F3gR0mfqjmWvvsO9w572brZEgBnp3h3kZpy8hvlovrn5diQkn2MSQBaqCCx1bizlaetKXofN64w/s320/harris.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-1987723021968456732013-01-02T20:10:00.000+00:002013-01-02T20:10:21.421+00:00These are the Dark Days<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIqjafxXoLAHUSqJN-EZZwFb7ZxkK0Qbj6boewYyUcFhomdbK_deOZk7fxtOpEStExmkA6WgLLrLm4rsvWsaQO5dyPQ860ehvGCY0t6b4D7WVlPQ_CBMS2yBoM5NpWOJsdg__hUL8hPyZO/s1600/hallival+top.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIqjafxXoLAHUSqJN-EZZwFb7ZxkK0Qbj6boewYyUcFhomdbK_deOZk7fxtOpEStExmkA6WgLLrLm4rsvWsaQO5dyPQ860ehvGCY0t6b4D7WVlPQ_CBMS2yBoM5NpWOJsdg__hUL8hPyZO/s200/hallival+top.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">November and December are dark months, as we drag ourselves
through identical damp, gloomy days towards the winter solstice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It will still be weeks before the first signs
of spring return, before the days are noticeably longer and it becomes possible
to do more interesting things than the endless boring cycle of work, eat,
sleep...</span></div>
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</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<br />
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwWwd5EApIA6oNOzSJZF173YjX9htFCyLtOCrT6VuLGALQw6GaBkt0uydLIez8yw4d7ZgfJb8jDIQBmibcdig1UVbQ2hA2VguO5nUt9Gyels21DPFbwQZZekBs_XtZOtGqhYsOvXCEFDn9/s1600/rainbow.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwWwd5EApIA6oNOzSJZF173YjX9htFCyLtOCrT6VuLGALQw6GaBkt0uydLIez8yw4d7ZgfJb8jDIQBmibcdig1UVbQ2hA2VguO5nUt9Gyels21DPFbwQZZekBs_XtZOtGqhYsOvXCEFDn9/s320/rainbow.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It’s been good to have some time off over the festivities
and be outdoors in daylight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I started
the new year by climbing to the top of Hallival, one of our iconic peaks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been up that hill a few times with
various friends but never alone; I love high places and wide open spaces, and
the weather was not bad (for Rum in January).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I ascended into thick fog and hail, but the hail passed and I felt
optimistic that the fog would clear by the time I got to the top.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It did!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I can’t help extrapolating from the specific to the general, and it gave
me a strong sense of hope for this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We might feel as though we’re moving through fog and the way is unclear,
but at a certain point we find ourselves at the summit with the whole island
spread out before us and a view of snow-topped mountains on the mainland.</span></div>
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</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Work-wise most of my time has been spent finely crafting my
application to Big Lottery’s Growing Community Assets fund for our bunkhouse project.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finding the right words to express just how
vitally important the bunkhouse is going to be for our wee economy, but also
for our confidence as a community, has been challenging.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That this project would finally produce
tangible evidence of progress, that all the tears and gnashing of teeth were
worth it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finding the detailed
information the Capital Grants Checklist calls for has been even more
challenging – I can add knowledge of the technicalities of capital building
projects to my growing list of talents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now
I’m just waiting for planning permission to be granted while I check and re-check
my figures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if we don’t get the
grant?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if we get it, but I’ve
missed out something vital and the grant turns out to be not enough?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How are we going to manage our cashflow when
we’re making payments to contractors of tens of thousands of pounds and our reserves
just don’t stretch that far?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why do I
feel like I’m the only one worrying about this stuff?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I have 12 months left on my contract here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know if it will be extended, or if I’ll
want to stay on if it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes
living here is so hard that I’d gladly pack up my stuff and board the ferry
without looking back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other times, like
when I’m standing on top of a hill in a sprinkling of snow, looking down on our
tiny village, I can’t imagine ever living anywhere else.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">To go in the dark with a
light is to know the light.<br />
To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight,<br />
and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings,<br />
and is travelled by dark feet and dark wings.<br />
<br />
Wendell Berry</span></span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXEcRiwQfyPPEx2fS-Jj4Qhq2uy6RQxB3lAW4NsGK8Cfv7AM8QO0kPvAQMs8afCpDWNY4IAYTFaLBwEsJVQaxi7unHwwft5K3Uu68cusRbSbt-2CPRpog_exM7duZGwWfavuBUI5FBm1q8/s1600/sunlight.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXEcRiwQfyPPEx2fS-Jj4Qhq2uy6RQxB3lAW4NsGK8Cfv7AM8QO0kPvAQMs8afCpDWNY4IAYTFaLBwEsJVQaxi7unHwwft5K3Uu68cusRbSbt-2CPRpog_exM7duZGwWfavuBUI5FBm1q8/s320/sunlight.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-11013293461212120092012-11-22T21:01:00.001+00:002012-11-22T21:01:15.179+00:00No Time to Blog<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivHj0Qe7pdOOZuMFSgm6VsL6Vca30PxUy8lkKNKaQtHfY7M5MIlFhkKJX1mk47gnSOuoGSobZmNoTlT8N14B4_Xrj44bSJu0e9ODEOXn_6zfysBNo6L9dRUJERQ6cLhZatb7ThqY4ou_G3/s1600/PA240014.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivHj0Qe7pdOOZuMFSgm6VsL6Vca30PxUy8lkKNKaQtHfY7M5MIlFhkKJX1mk47gnSOuoGSobZmNoTlT8N14B4_Xrj44bSJu0e9ODEOXn_6zfysBNo6L9dRUJERQ6cLhZatb7ThqY4ou_G3/s320/PA240014.JPG" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This has been sitting on my laptop since the start of
November when the weather had turned properly cold, leaving feathery ice
patterns on my skylight window and a dusting of snow on the hilltops.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now we’re more than three-quarters of the way
through the month & I’m only just getting around to uploading it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where has the time gone?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Frittered away in numerous trips to the
mainland...<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The path through the bluebell
woods has disappeared under a bright coloured carpet of leaves; difficult to
navigate by torchlight these days, lucky my feet know the way by now. Last year I blinked and missed autumn - this year I've been trying to capture it with varying degrees of success. The leaves don't stay long on the trees in these winds.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We had an excellent community engagement event at the end of
September, part of the year of support I won us from the Scottish Community
Development Centre’s ACE programme (Achieving Community Empowerment).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Almost everyone turned out for it, as well as
our local councillor, MSP, and key people from Highlands & Islands
Enterprise and Scottish Natural Heritage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We had round-table discussions on four topics: housing, infrastructure,
developments, and getting people involved, each one facilitated and focussing
on how to achieve positive ways forward rather than getting bogged down in past
gripes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was feeling a bit anxious
about facilitating my table – I’ve never been in a room with <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everyone</i> on the island before and I
wasn’t sure what would happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if
people started shouting at each other?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
cheery chaps from SCDC advised me that everything would be fine and if things
did start getting boggy, I could move them on by asking “what can we do to make
this better?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My fears were unfounded,
everyone displayed thorough understanding of the issues, and there was a
reassuring consensus of opinion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being a
worrier, I’m still concerned about the ones who didn’t come – if they won’t get
on board with an event with a free meal at the end of it, will they back
whatever we do next, based on the outcome of this event?</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh30kqbeQxj7NYrtejo-apGt237xB4zWmA8gtTE4gjuX5LezmnRzURaSHV1JQlRPm456wcNB3gk_kAxmDE26JicM7GjAGpjrzx3agh4p_eHE3L0Pn6Bms0F5gRR8s1ewQMmHwN_qo2NtB12/s1600/PA240004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh30kqbeQxj7NYrtejo-apGt237xB4zWmA8gtTE4gjuX5LezmnRzURaSHV1JQlRPm456wcNB3gk_kAxmDE26JicM7GjAGpjrzx3agh4p_eHE3L0Pn6Bms0F5gRR8s1ewQMmHwN_qo2NtB12/s200/PA240004.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> “What can we do to make this better” has especially
resonated with me this month, as I’ve been attending a 5 day course on conflict
resolution and mediation targeted at those working with communities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The course was spread over 4 Fridays and a
Monday, so it’s been pretty tiring commuting backwards and forwards to Glasgow,
but I’m thoroughly enjoying the course and it’s not so bad compared to the
Inverness – Aberdeen commute I did for the two years of my MSc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like the man said, everything’s relative.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The course has been useful in helping to
identify my own response to conflict (Avoid! Avoid!), and to reflect on whether
this is the most constructive way to deal with it (not always).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s also got me thinking about how we
resolve conflict on Rum, since it seems like a fairly peaceful place compared to
one of our near neighbours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suspect it
has something to do with the relative equality on the island – as individuals
nobody really holds any more power than anyone else, everyone has a similar
degree of security.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Living on an island
we’re very dependent on each other for survival; people will always help each
other out, even if they wouldn’t particularly choose to socialise with
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s also an island where women
are the main decision makers and business owners; I’m not drawing any
conclusions from this, just putting it out there!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Part of mediation involves allowing things to be as they
are; allowing both sides the space to find their own solution, rather than
trying to impose what you think is best for everyone, and this ties in neatly
with a mindfulness programme I’m working my way through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can I just accept that things are as they are
on the island, and stop making myself crazy trying to “fix” everything?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can I allow events to unfold in their own
time?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suspect not, if that timescale
is measured in decades rather than months and it’s the community bunkhouse
we’re talking about, but in other areas, yes – perhaps I can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe this way I can find a little of the
peace and harmony I’m seeking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our Rum
Mum who departed last autumn for warmer climes was fond of reminding me that
things will happen in their own time.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Someone made the radical suggestion to me recently that our island
“characters” are as essential to the health and variety of the community as
anyone else, and this has got me thinking as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People contribute in their own way, and maybe
it’s not necessarily by being a director of the Trust, or setting up a
community company.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As confidence grows,
will more contributions be made in more obvious ways by more people?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a community which has historically
had everything done for it by someone else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We’re like a teenager who’s left home for the first time and it’s slowly
dawning on us that clothes don’t get cleaned by magic, and the shelves don’t
fill themselves.</span></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFNp4dMU40kue7fRPWnRkaPVSYRt-gCrvaxw_jt8X2RLlHEM6HNwiMAHKh_WqKXVY01YzpcEszgOBBm5qMfa3GUzdkoBEXJtz_m4CoQnDfB-0CRb2-PS1wTqyLNBdvVnfj12TSNFYtaujD/s1600/autumn+kilmory+beach.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFNp4dMU40kue7fRPWnRkaPVSYRt-gCrvaxw_jt8X2RLlHEM6HNwiMAHKh_WqKXVY01YzpcEszgOBBm5qMfa3GUzdkoBEXJtz_m4CoQnDfB-0CRb2-PS1wTqyLNBdvVnfj12TSNFYtaujD/s320/autumn+kilmory+beach.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Skye from Kilmory</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-37367290048908988492012-10-01T12:44:00.001+01:002012-10-01T12:44:17.829+01:00On the Inside, Looking Out<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBBVrjDrqd2o3IXx8BGu1HjDUNEEqN8EW96q-Yl4WRW271yRCTAuZuxGrKm_P87jtbg6BketXWTBr_Qkm_dp6JCpFSnAv7dYiiD8uNB-j_R1ZVRy3XWpT18vHz72XrwfnPnMZeLN4Rnv4x/s1600/autumnwatch+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBBVrjDrqd2o3IXx8BGu1HjDUNEEqN8EW96q-Yl4WRW271yRCTAuZuxGrKm_P87jtbg6BketXWTBr_Qkm_dp6JCpFSnAv7dYiiD8uNB-j_R1ZVRy3XWpT18vHz72XrwfnPnMZeLN4Rnv4x/s320/autumnwatch+2.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’ve been struggling a bit lately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Feeling like I’m on my own – working alone,
going home alone, everyone’s busy with their own thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An island of mainly couples can be a lonesome
place for a single girl...<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m also terrible
at asking for help, yet when I do, I realise I have really good friends here
and I’m not so much alone as I think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’ve had many kind words and buckets of good advice: one person can’t
change the world, even a world as small as an island – I knew this when I came
here, and I’d forgotten it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Change will
come in its own time and will be the result of everyone’s efforts, not just
mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One day I’ll return to the island
and see how much things have moved on, and I’ll know I was a part of it – but
just one part of many.</span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Picking blackberries for wine has been therapeutic; keeping
eyes and hands busy so the mind is free to wander.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a good visit from a mainland friend
which reminded me there’s a whole world beyond this island – it’s easy to
forget this and become too focussed on the minutiae of life in a small
community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve resolved to be more
positive and outward-looking, less introspective and dark.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s easy to get lost in the woods,
especially now the nights are getting longer. I'm also on an 8 week course of mindfulness meditation, to help me recognise the difference between a practical problem which can be puzzled over and solved, and an emotional reaction which quickly descends into a spiral of self-doubt and frustration if I think about it too much - trying to "fix" it only makes it worse.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieEghspMkQok0NBwP5PHwjgstN1qVZiVKYb49GogeBZx212sfl0pcpQAFayfg7kOogKFoCpIN2d64notR2sS4iOX0Yuoavu3z-6NLM-KNFhg57mCgL_9Lts5m1IYpGGK1UsdTnZlDqtafU/s1600/leaving+rum.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieEghspMkQok0NBwP5PHwjgstN1qVZiVKYb49GogeBZx212sfl0pcpQAFayfg7kOogKFoCpIN2d64notR2sS4iOX0Yuoavu3z-6NLM-KNFhg57mCgL_9Lts5m1IYpGGK1UsdTnZlDqtafU/s320/leaving+rum.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In a <a href="http://travel.nationalgeographic.com/travel/countries/scottish-island-traveler/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">National Geographic article</a> recently one of our Muckity
Muck neighbours described these as “Wee places...not much travelled today,
inhabited by dreamers and stoics. Retreats from the world. Blank canvases for
quixotic quests.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dreamers and stoics –
perhaps you need to be a bit of both to thrive here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was an interesting piece in the
<a href="http://www.localpeopleleading.co.uk/policy-talk/policy-articles/1468/?utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=12SepSubs&utm_content=12SepSubs+CID_456c4d163e3cb48979e378272625ff3b&utm_source=Tinder+by+Cazinc&utm_term=read+more" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Scottish Community Alliance newsletter</a> (a.k.a. Local People Leading) this month
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>about how social capital – or wealth
measured in terms of local networks and people working together – can help communities
survive natural disasters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The article
suggests that social capital can be built through engaging local people in
discussion groups, social events, and just by making a little effort to get to
know one’s neighbours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Programmes like HIE’s
Community Account Management may be the best strategy for the survival of
vulnerable communities like mine, by investing in the social infrastructure of
community trusts, as well as assisting economic development.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We had a really good community engagement event last month,
facilitated by the <a href="http://www.scdc.org.uk/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Scottish Community Development Centre</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>22 of the 31 adults on the island turned out
for it, along with our local councillor, MSP, and representatives from SNH and
HIE.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Housing, infrastructure,
developments past, present & future, and how to get more of the community
actively involved were up for round-table discussion, with a great deal of
consensus and some radical ideas for solutions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There is hope for the future on our small island – in contrast to our other
<a href="http://www.heraldscotland.com/mobile/news/home-news/and-then-there-were-12-x.19001382?_=96f15ef3afddc6a6be053050aa190284d1502b36" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">neighbour</a> which continues to haemorrhage residents at a depressing rate.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m leaving the island for two weeks now – the longest I’ll
have been away since I moved here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
have to admit, I’m very much looking forward to a change of scenery, and will
be interested to see how I feel about coming back.</span></div>
Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-17485515646945717402012-09-04T20:34:00.003+01:002012-09-18T13:49:56.272+01:00The More Things Change...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVlF867pXK9C5oGWOOp_RNRTPFbregWuQYgAnghDg7_FiwF3x1IMUNCSuzZFBg9bQ2G2ehwRSw2zzkykF8walPRm3MmUzIdOOHUqiCnsUv7nqDlz_3C_dKgdukBjwelqt0Xg66KvcjqyFm/s1600/sheerwater.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVlF867pXK9C5oGWOOp_RNRTPFbregWuQYgAnghDg7_FiwF3x1IMUNCSuzZFBg9bQ2G2ehwRSw2zzkykF8walPRm3MmUzIdOOHUqiCnsUv7nqDlz_3C_dKgdukBjwelqt0Xg66KvcjqyFm/s320/sheerwater.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This month I got stranded by the weather for the first
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I meant to return from a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/WestWheelsCarClub" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">car club </a>meeting on Eigg on the <a href="http://www.arisaig.co.uk/wildlife-cruises.asp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Sheerwater</a>, a little passenger boat which runs from
Arisaig.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, no amount of eyelash
fluttering would persuade them to brave the waves across the Sound of Rum, so I
had to take the Calmac ferry back to Mallaig and spend the night there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I'm lucky to have a <a href="http://www.road-to-the-isles.org.uk/accommodation-details.php?id=49" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">friend</a> there who lets me stay in his spare house at times such as these. </span>It was like having a day off from my life,
and reminded me of some of the long solitary journeys I made in my more
youthful days; that sense of being in limbo, between places, outside my
self.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the other hand, being on Rum is
often like being on a mythical fantasy island, removed from the outside world. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The mainland is erased by cloud and the
goings-on of the village become suffocatingly everything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being not-on-Rum, but looking at it half
obscured by mist, it seemed tantalisingly easy to just not return; to not stop
at Mallaig but keep going away, away, away.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’ve been examining this tendency in myself to pack up and
leave when things get a bit ... well, a bit much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Stay-the-Same/232973493387763" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">friend across the water</a> recently set
herself the challenge of not leaving the similarly isolated community in which
she lives, for a whole year. She’s making a film about it, which I’m looking
forward to seeing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the end of the
year she fled to London and hasn’t been seen since – I can understand this, but
wonder if the pull of the wild land and open spaces will eventually be too
much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am absolutely certain that not
leaving Rum for a whole year would drive me insane; but perhaps it
wouldn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps standing still and
acknowledging what’s going on is a more healthy way of doing things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Running is easy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sitting through the turmoil is much more difficult.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5B_YLP2AwYyBeuwxA1CrMf2rh2op2Yg10TLnErYcKk35nEigMUaeSxCoCfKPREBDvrwMCZ7xOEHm8wgRltFT-M5AzrEOQqZYyG6vXPR17drtwMc8sXldgkH4hdEfRvB8i9Tei0-WE84_7/s1600/pink+lily.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5B_YLP2AwYyBeuwxA1CrMf2rh2op2Yg10TLnErYcKk35nEigMUaeSxCoCfKPREBDvrwMCZ7xOEHm8wgRltFT-M5AzrEOQqZYyG6vXPR17drtwMc8sXldgkH4hdEfRvB8i9Tei0-WE84_7/s320/pink+lily.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I haven’t measured the time since I came here by
photographing myself in the same place every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I haven’t kept a diary with any
regularity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do try and sit in
stillness for ten minutes each day, but have lacked even this simple discipline
in recent months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I strive to measure
time by what I achieve between one point and the next, but have found it
unsatisfying to do that here, because of the way time works – nothing happens
for ages, then everything happens at once.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Time moves in stops and starts; backwards, forwards, sideways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A week can seem to last a month, but there
are some months I can’t account for at all (August, for example).</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I find change unsettling, and yet staying in one place
doesn’t stop things from changing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When
I came here I didn’t know what to expect, but I did expect there to be some
kind of stability or continuity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a
remote, isolated island.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surely all that
changes is the weather?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, there
is a constant coming and going of people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Again and again, I form quick, deep bonds with people who move away
after a few months, and so I start all over again with new people; but how long
will they last – how long will I last?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’ve been thinking hard about my motivation for coming here
– the job, the sense of helping a community to achieve something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the community is fragmented, we don't speak with one voice, we're a collection of individuals rather than a single organism. I'm tired of writing the same thing over and again in funding applications, of consulting everyone yet again on the same project becuase this is what funders require. If only we had our own money & could just make things happen without being at the mercy of grant funding. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Many</span> of the beneficiaries of my hard
work seem completely indifferent to the changes I’m helping to bring about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If nothing happens, as nothing has happened
historically, what difference will that make?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Change is unsettling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Time will
tell.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiusrYpbaXbN3QoMNUOqleFsl1ZWXilX9y8t9niDe8tsYBiuyZul6O5ZehPLCMQFal7X2isLika4bdhZXQXNTKZjyR9o-xeNzDxhFTmdcqGwWHtelwwqWLQQMeWQM8XXjHPCTDF-1OoenIt/s1600/harris+evening2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiusrYpbaXbN3QoMNUOqleFsl1ZWXilX9y8t9niDe8tsYBiuyZul6O5ZehPLCMQFal7X2isLika4bdhZXQXNTKZjyR9o-xeNzDxhFTmdcqGwWHtelwwqWLQQMeWQM8XXjHPCTDF-1OoenIt/s320/harris+evening2.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-33837389296009503182012-08-05T11:03:00.004+01:002012-09-18T12:31:27.404+01:00Summertime...<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
July was a month of visitors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suspect my parents view my move here with
some bewilderment and I’m never sure what to do with them when they visit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’re not really walkers, birdwatchers or
nature enthusiasts, and there’s little else to do here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could just let them sit around and read
books, but they can do that anywhere and I want to share my lovely island with
them and somehow make them <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>understand
why I’m so smitten with it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm2L1WbBin2IP7A_1w8YCY-I_0lIRSZ6icIzYWZibtLq0SDlCfLh5Q3UdtMR2pifS6coLLcA6j_Vd2Cp6Sqi3wTiwuQTRmlGsLqXs23Kb5lcyxcMCbG28zmxTPXjglrB_hExKR90d2bf4V/s1600/papadil2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm2L1WbBin2IP7A_1w8YCY-I_0lIRSZ6icIzYWZibtLq0SDlCfLh5Q3UdtMR2pifS6coLLcA6j_Vd2Cp6Sqi3wTiwuQTRmlGsLqXs23Kb5lcyxcMCbG28zmxTPXjglrB_hExKR90d2bf4V/s320/papadil2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Papadil</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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A friend and I hitched a lift to Harris & walked to Papadil
on the south side of the island.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The sea
sparkled blue in the lovely summer weather we’re starting to take for granted,
and Papadil was cradled under Sgurr nan Gillean like a little lost world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was briefly excited by movement in the bay
at Inbhir Gil, primed to look for minke whales by a number of recent sightings,
but it was just a seal observing us with typically detached curiosity.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
We had a visit from the Minister for Environment &
Climate Change, though we were unimpressed by his apparent lack of interest in
what we’re doing, and left wondering why he bothered to come at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our Climate Challenge Fund project, Greening
Rum, is proceeding with typical slowness – the polytunnel is still not up, the
rotor composter hasn’t arrived yet, and when we went to roll out the loft
insulation we discovered woodworm which will need to be treated before we cover
it with fabulous non-itch ecowool made from recycled bottles.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I’m rueing the day I thought it would be a good plan to apply
to the new Coastal Communities Fund.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>With only £1.8million for the whole Highlands & Islands, we went for
a middling amount to get the Byre redevelopment off the ground and were invited
to submit to stage 2; a rare event, by all accounts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, the amount we’ve requested is only
around 10% of what we need for Phase I now that the Feasibility Study is
complete with figures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m stumped about
where we’re going to find the rest, but I’m sure we’ll find it somewhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m thoroughly daunted by the two 38-page
forms I have to fill in for what is essentially a teeny tiny amount of
money.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Luckily about 10 pages of each
form are guidance notes...<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Making the
Byre project happen feels a lot like standing at the bottom of a very steep
mountain & wondering how I’m going to get to the top.</div>
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<br /></div>
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This month I managed to spend 28 straight days on the
island, but it was good to get away for a weekend of hillwalking in
Perthshire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Two days felt like two
weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Must remember that I don’t need
to do everything, and it’s ok to let things evolve in their own time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know if it was just being in one
place for four whole weeks, but it feels as though the relentless onward march
of Time slowed down this month, and July went on for ages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not a bad thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m hoping that August will proceed at a similar
leisurely pace.</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQgAkHTnlzNlz6B54LRVJVDjsg3NzTKVwbMIFKPirZwwmSDrMtw8oRM8An01roleJYuTLD4sQpOrGQMQueeNYW-MD3z7o8SVNCHHXxQa4wqXm8EAB0-Z7pX_agh0yHofA-56IseNiMqHk0/s1600/Rum+from+Muck.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQgAkHTnlzNlz6B54LRVJVDjsg3NzTKVwbMIFKPirZwwmSDrMtw8oRM8An01roleJYuTLD4sQpOrGQMQueeNYW-MD3z7o8SVNCHHXxQa4wqXm8EAB0-Z7pX_agh0yHofA-56IseNiMqHk0/s320/Rum+from+Muck.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rum from Muck</span></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-3026255148487419272012-07-02T18:33:00.002+01:002012-07-02T18:33:19.174+01:00Don't Mention the Midges!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Apparently it’s been the wettest June on <a href="http://metofficenews.wordpress.com/2012/06/26/is-this-the-wettest-june-on-record/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">record</a> in the UK –
except for the North West of Scotland, where it’s been remarkably dry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately, this has not
affected the midge population.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Rather than avoid the subject of our less welcome residents,
the Isle of Rum Think Tank got together and decided to embrace them and hold a
festival in their honour.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So MidgeFest is
born – put it in your diary for the 4<sup>th</sup> August; you have to get up
early to catch the ferry (or come on the Sheerwater from Arisaig later on) but you
can spend 10 hours on Rum and take part in various Rangery, crafty and fun
activities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s aimed at families, but
everyone’s welcome!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Watch the Isle of
Rum <a href="http://www.isleofrum.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">website</a> for info.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Last week I went to Ullapool for one of the Local
Development Officer get-togethers organised by our funders, Highlands &
Islands Enterprise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I value these events
as I get to show off to my fellow D.O.s about how much funding I’ve drawn down
recently and what excitement is going off on Rum (What? Competetive? Me?).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also get reminded that I’m not alone in
wading through treacle, and the numerous frustrations dragging me down day to
day are the same ones experienced by people in community development everywhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People are what they are
– wonderful, maddening, individual, and communities are the sum of their people parts.</div>
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<br /></div>
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One of our residents has left to return to her native New
Zealand – it’s a big loss to us as she was an active volunteer as
well as working for the Trust. She was probably the best ambassador for the
island we had; cheerful, chatty, friendly, and spreading the word wherever she
went.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was instrumental in making me
feel welcome when I arrived, helping me move in, showing me around, and
introducing me to everyone. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will miss
her a lot, and I’m sorry I didn’t spend more time with her when I could have –
her departure is a timely warning against taking things (and people) for
granted.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
So here I am counting my blessings: I’m young(ish), healthy,
I have wonderful friends here and elsewhere, I live in a most amazing place, I
have a nice house and a good job – and things are moving; slowly, but
definitely moving.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
Yet I’m feeling a bit stale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’ve achieved all my personal goals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What I’m doing at work should be enough for one person – taking forward
two big building projects as well as all the small day to day stuff – but as my
friend in the <a href="http://www.scottishgreens.org.uk/index" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Scottish Parliament</a> likes to say: if you’re not growing, you’re
stagnating (he says it with an ironic face on).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I still haven’t figured out what I’m doing here or which direction I want to grow in, but the island meets
several of my Requirements for a Happy Future Life, such as:</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Off-grid living</span></li>
<li style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span>Potential for near self-sufficiency on a
community scale</li>
<li style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span>Shiny, happy, like-minded people</li>
</ul>
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Yet I’m still reluctant to commit to being here for a longer
term than the length of my contract.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
still feel temporary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s that about?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqWZ8I3TDH3s3MNFcPpuMCWSw9aKeaWYg1vkmEcbP4IcLO_FvE9ocHBQ30Thq6zVXjJ-Onz2UB5vlDoRD2RSSUngJSVCRnow29qLnwochQZYZJLSIx-huw-M4jjsGGObsrldl423WV5LoC/s1600/july.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqWZ8I3TDH3s3MNFcPpuMCWSw9aKeaWYg1vkmEcbP4IcLO_FvE9ocHBQ30Thq6zVXjJ-Onz2UB5vlDoRD2RSSUngJSVCRnow29qLnwochQZYZJLSIx-huw-M4jjsGGObsrldl423WV5LoC/s320/july.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2510768129363331791.post-48691425784805964212012-06-03T19:07:00.001+01:002012-06-03T19:07:12.010+01:00One Year On<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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For those who haven’t been following my adventures on a
remote island on the Scottish Community Land Network, you can catch up <a href="http://www.communityland.org.uk/content/notes-from-a-small-isle" target="_blank">here</a> (start at the bottom of the page).</div>
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<br /></div>
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For the rest of you; here I am again!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A friend recently impressed upon me the
absolutely vital importance of continuing the blog; as a way of recording the
passage of time and my changing responses to events as they unfold, if nothing
else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Several glasses (or was it
bottles?) of wine may have been drunk at the time, but a certain wisdom in her
words stuck with me so instead of waiting to see what happens with the new
Highlands & Islands Enterprise website, I’m going to pick up the story
here.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I’ve been reading through my original blog posts, and am
struck by the surge of optimism and naivety which carried me to Rum, and by how
it was gradually eroded as time went on and the realities of just how damn hard
it is to live alone in a remote place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Every single thing is so much more difficult; every step forward
involves at least five steps backwards (or sideways).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yet ... a year later, I’m still here.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpd45aYI109ddP7NgDbvStDagRl1I9NGinYrONzRPrzjSMGDh4Gg0clAndInlalRNIkYPxGOvXgB4Ge4XKd-mNedfb29MEMSCiA8kyzpWFEzEKsZ5exoxnEi5uMf6K2WPAtDCAUBjBDXHV/s1600/sunrise.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpd45aYI109ddP7NgDbvStDagRl1I9NGinYrONzRPrzjSMGDh4Gg0clAndInlalRNIkYPxGOvXgB4Ge4XKd-mNedfb29MEMSCiA8kyzpWFEzEKsZ5exoxnEi5uMf6K2WPAtDCAUBjBDXHV/s320/sunrise.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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We’ve been having some exceptionally lovely weather – the
kind that makes me realise there’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be than
right here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve also finally arrived in
the Time Of Change I’d been looking forward to all winter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our new crofting family has settled in
beautifully, although the “Rum Effect” has stalled the progress of their static
caravan at the beginning of the croft access track, rather than actually on the
croft where they’d like it to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They’re being remarkably stoic about it, and say they’re enjoying all
the attention from walkers passing on their way to or from the Nature
Reserve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Weshman and his (not)Wife
have also arrived and started work on Tattie House, the only privately owned
property on the island.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’re living
in a touring caravan for the summer and blogging [http://tattiehouse.wordpress.com/]
about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of our families has left
for a new job on the mainland, and will be replaced by an older couple this
month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That makes 8 new people so far
this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m pretty excited to see
what will happen...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGR65XFW30H04Y1UQw3NDxef5r4jKOb0EzcGBgzwcQoVqbmUozMZn7zBPWt9JzVCemMDM7oVAb45-IN5V1CrcHSI4huM8xNx_dJS0KxMO68ZIqexY2i0roOa6mN-SpsAIxbRySk-W148xU/s1600/cabin.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGR65XFW30H04Y1UQw3NDxef5r4jKOb0EzcGBgzwcQoVqbmUozMZn7zBPWt9JzVCemMDM7oVAb45-IN5V1CrcHSI4huM8xNx_dJS0KxMO68ZIqexY2i0roOa6mN-SpsAIxbRySk-W148xU/s320/cabin.JPG" width="240" /></a>We have some new faces on the board of the Trust, with two
Directors returning from taking a break and one newbie who’s already proved her
brilliance by taking over the management of the camping cabins (before she even
became a Director).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, the cabins have
arrived and yes, all the wailing and gnashing of teeth was worth it because
they’re incredibly popular and they make me smile every time I pass them,
knowing that I made that happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was
a bit touch and go for a while; - the bases almost didn’t get built in time -
but thanks to Dave Won’t-be-Beaton and Miss McGinty’s Dad, everything turned
out fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The composting toilet is also
in situ and in use – it’s rather too beautiful to be hidden away beside the
boatshed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The pier is spick and span,
with some screening around the rubbish skips so they’re not the first thing you
see when you arrive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It sort of all
happened at once, and I was so exhausted by then that I just wanted to crawl
into bed and sleep for a month.</div>
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The community’s grand designs for a bunkhouse and the
redevelopment of the Byre buildings are proceeding apace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have a site and a design for the
bunkhouse, now all we need is the half a million pounds needed to make it
real.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Centre at the Edge (everyone
still calls it the Byre project) is a longer-term prospect which I’m
approaching with some trepidation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
going to be massive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve already
applied for some money to get it started, from the Coastal Communities Fund
with its year-long lead in time, but I suspect it’s going to be oversubscribed
so I’m waiting to see what happens.</div>
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I’m trying to clear my To Do list before I go off on holiday
for 10 days in June, but I keep adding things to it rather than crossing them
off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our Climate Challenge Funding came
through and they are my most favourite funder to deal with because they make
everything so easy; others could learn a lot from them (I’m looking at you,
LEADER).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our polytunnel has
arrived!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s stored in the boatshed
because one of our resident Twitchers has requested that we wait until the
grasshopper warbler which has made its home in the long grass of the walled
garden has finished nesting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“When will
it be done?” I asked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“July,” he
replied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ah, Rum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So rewarding, so frustrating.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd_9pmgxfmeEujk8Jp1CqyQTtvkRrk3cNwwN6HFBF7XOWIWwZLb4UMUQobnJZPfr5Q6Pvod57EL_uJrHAvoTNlHzAAcJ3vGKD8bglj8IflR2EQRqW4No47_BIQDpkdqq-uUu59W_-gJwkb/s1600/sunset.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd_9pmgxfmeEujk8Jp1CqyQTtvkRrk3cNwwN6HFBF7XOWIWwZLb4UMUQobnJZPfr5Q6Pvod57EL_uJrHAvoTNlHzAAcJ3vGKD8bglj8IflR2EQRqW4No47_BIQDpkdqq-uUu59W_-gJwkb/s320/sunset.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>Rum Vikkihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13056606844411990558noreply@blogger.com2